I thought i had a great thing going.

I thought that i had a really great thing going with the guy i have been dating.  But lately, when we talk on the phone, its full of those awkward silences, and it just makes me feel a bit strange.  So the other day i went to bed thinking that i would talk to him the next day, and when i called... nothing.  No answer at all.  Now, most people would say, leave a message and they'll get back to you. But, if you believe this and know the person i'm dating, you should be laughing at that statement.  while i love him dearly, he's not always that great of a communicator.  So i sent him an email telling him to call me when he wants to talk, because i feel like a stalker always calling and never getting an answer.  So we'll have to see what happens.  I REALLY  hope that this works out, because i thought THIS was something great.

Okay.. so that didn't go so well...

Today was the audition that I have been practicing for, and it did not go as planned... to say the least.  I was disappointed by being asked for things that were not on the repertoire list, mainly because i feel like i could have been less anxious, had i known any part of what to expect.  

The classes here should be interesting, but it is only once a week and there's no class next monday (yay!) have I mentioned how much i love National holidays?!  So... moving right along.

i have been asked about 5 times in the past few days whether i am married or not.  I mean really people, if there's no ring or band, i'm not married.  Stop asking me.  I don't need it rubbed in my face that my significant other is a thousand miles away, with no plans on coming to see me.  Ker-sad.  So anyway... I don't know what to do or think.  We'll have to see what happens.

So thats about all that has been going on, sorry this post has been so 'run-of-the-mill' but that's all i have to say.  Oh Hey to TH if she checks this out!

Practice makes perfect?

When we begin anything, running, swimming, dancing, playing an instrument; we are told to practice every day in order to improve.  However, what if practicing certain  things every day doesn't seem to help one improve?  What if what someone needs is a 'break' from whatever it is that is not improving, and come back to it in time?  Is that a bad thing, or is there really something to be said for those who push through times of difficulty that seem insurmountable? What makes these people so much more admired or liked because they are able to not get frustrated with themselves or their abilities? 

Case in point:  I am practicing orchestral excerpts for an upcoming audition.  However, no matter what i do, i seem to have a mental block against one of the said excerpts.  How do i go about overcoming this, when just playing it every day seems to do no good?  'Practice makes perfect' keeps ringing in my mind, while wrong notes are ringing in my ears.  

Any suggestions?  Maybe just a day away from it will help to make the piece seem more playable.  Yet in these situations, with an audition quickly approaching, how can one take a day off?  Is that really possible... no.  So yet again I am back to wondering how to just "make it work," as Tim Gunn would say.

For all of you musicians out there, whether student, armature, or professional... what do you do?  How do you 'clear the mechanism'? 

I have recently made a very large change in my life.  

I have moved across the country and am studying what i want to do for the rest of my life, in where i think is the place where i want to do it. 

Here's my dilemma.  There are ties to where i'm from that keep me feeling for that place, while i know that nothing more is going to come out of them. So am i wasting my time wanting to keep trying to get more out of a quickly drying up well?  Or should i keep going, digging deeper, and hope to find a new source of 'water'?

Is there hope for a new source, when all other parts of you tell you that there should be no hope?  That things will always get worse before they get better, and that part of learning to love ones' self is loving someone else? And does loving someone else mean if they are not always the kind of person that you want them to be, you have to love them anyway?

So thats where i am now, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Help!