New Month, New Stuff

Well... its been over a month since my last post, not that people read this to want more posts, but anywho... school has been interesting, and yet boring at the same time.  Oh yes, it is possible.  the classes are mind numbingly boring, yet the playing is amazing.  I guess that going to a school with a great musicology program for your undergrad really makes your graduate work boring. ha ha.  Well.. the playing issues for the most part are over, and now its just a matter of properly building up my endurance.  eek!  

I've been hanging out with some new friends, which is fun, but worrisome at the same time.  Mainly because i don't want to get stuck in the rut of only hanging out with the same 3 people most of the time, and nobody else for the rest. Who knew making friends could be this complicated?!  AND there's someone who is becoming increasingly more interesting to me when we hang out, so although i don't know that anything will happen any time soon, more than whats going on now, i think it could be interesting.

I've also lost touch with my best guy friend.  I don't know where he went, or if he's alright.  I hope that he is, and that we get to talk soon, because we have a lot to catch up on and talk about.  Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh.... should be fun.

That's all for now!

I give up.

Well, its official. I want to give up and throw my instrument against a wall.  I am just so far behind everyone in this studio, that it seems a little ridiculous for me to be even trying.  I mean, i  love that my teacher is understanding about the fact that i broke myself at my recital, but i just feel like every time i go to play, that i'm letting him down.  So who knows.  Maybe at the end of the semester, he'll be like... i'm sorry, you suck.  

Then finally, someone would agree with how i feel 95% of the time.

I thought i had a great thing going.

I thought that i had a really great thing going with the guy i have been dating.  But lately, when we talk on the phone, its full of those awkward silences, and it just makes me feel a bit strange.  So the other day i went to bed thinking that i would talk to him the next day, and when i called... nothing.  No answer at all.  Now, most people would say, leave a message and they'll get back to you. But, if you believe this and know the person i'm dating, you should be laughing at that statement.  while i love him dearly, he's not always that great of a communicator.  So i sent him an email telling him to call me when he wants to talk, because i feel like a stalker always calling and never getting an answer.  So we'll have to see what happens.  I REALLY  hope that this works out, because i thought THIS was something great.

Okay.. so that didn't go so well...

Today was the audition that I have been practicing for, and it did not go as planned... to say the least.  I was disappointed by being asked for things that were not on the repertoire list, mainly because i feel like i could have been less anxious, had i known any part of what to expect.  

The classes here should be interesting, but it is only once a week and there's no class next monday (yay!) have I mentioned how much i love National holidays?!  So... moving right along.

i have been asked about 5 times in the past few days whether i am married or not.  I mean really people, if there's no ring or band, i'm not married.  Stop asking me.  I don't need it rubbed in my face that my significant other is a thousand miles away, with no plans on coming to see me.  Ker-sad.  So anyway... I don't know what to do or think.  We'll have to see what happens.

So thats about all that has been going on, sorry this post has been so 'run-of-the-mill' but that's all i have to say.  Oh Hey to TH if she checks this out!

Practice makes perfect?

When we begin anything, running, swimming, dancing, playing an instrument; we are told to practice every day in order to improve.  However, what if practicing certain  things every day doesn't seem to help one improve?  What if what someone needs is a 'break' from whatever it is that is not improving, and come back to it in time?  Is that a bad thing, or is there really something to be said for those who push through times of difficulty that seem insurmountable? What makes these people so much more admired or liked because they are able to not get frustrated with themselves or their abilities? 

Case in point:  I am practicing orchestral excerpts for an upcoming audition.  However, no matter what i do, i seem to have a mental block against one of the said excerpts.  How do i go about overcoming this, when just playing it every day seems to do no good?  'Practice makes perfect' keeps ringing in my mind, while wrong notes are ringing in my ears.  

Any suggestions?  Maybe just a day away from it will help to make the piece seem more playable.  Yet in these situations, with an audition quickly approaching, how can one take a day off?  Is that really possible... no.  So yet again I am back to wondering how to just "make it work," as Tim Gunn would say.

For all of you musicians out there, whether student, armature, or professional... what do you do?  How do you 'clear the mechanism'? 

I have recently made a very large change in my life.  

I have moved across the country and am studying what i want to do for the rest of my life, in where i think is the place where i want to do it. 

Here's my dilemma.  There are ties to where i'm from that keep me feeling for that place, while i know that nothing more is going to come out of them. So am i wasting my time wanting to keep trying to get more out of a quickly drying up well?  Or should i keep going, digging deeper, and hope to find a new source of 'water'?

Is there hope for a new source, when all other parts of you tell you that there should be no hope?  That things will always get worse before they get better, and that part of learning to love ones' self is loving someone else? And does loving someone else mean if they are not always the kind of person that you want them to be, you have to love them anyway?

So thats where i am now, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Help!

Have you ever been really nervous about something?  Maybe not a personal thing, but about an upcoming event in your life?  I definately know how that goes.  Lately i've been preparing for some of the most important... well... interviews... that i will have in my life, and my stress levels are through the roof.  However this may be, i know that i need to just breathe deep, and that no matter what, it will all end up alright in the end.  What do you think?  Ever had something like that happen to you?

First Blog Ever

So this is how a blog works... funny.  i feel like i'm talking to myself, even though i'm not talking at all.  wierd, eh?  There are so many things that i hope to talk about in this blog, the music that i plan to make, travels, relationships, and most of all, the changes that i want to make in my life.  There are tons of people who think that a blog should be a way to impress people or to make one seem 'cool,' but i'll tell you what... nobody does uncool or unimpressive like me.  So if you're looking to have your socks rocked off... you might want to check out another blog. 

See you next time... same blog time, same blog channel.